It has been almost five years since Elizabeth Edwards was laid to rest Tuesday, December 7, 2010 after a brave battle with breast cancer.
Mary Elizabeth Anania Edwards was an American attorney, a best-selling author and a health care activist. She was married to John Edwards, the former U.S. Senator from North Carolina who was the 2004 United States Democratic vice-presidential nominee. She was 61 years of age when she died.
Some people are still more focused on her scandalous marriage and messy divorce than her accomplishments as a mother and woman in the public eye. Bloggers speculate on whether Elizabeth will be remembered as a fighter or a victim.
Personally, I will remember Elizabeth Edwards as one of my heroes.
Even in the face of extreme adversity, Elizabeth Edwards always presented herself as a classy lady. She was aware of her cancer while her husband ran for office but reassured women all over the world that she would be fine, kept a smile on her face, cared for her family and put her husband’s career before her own needs. Those are the actions of a devoted mate—a winner.
Elizabeth and I were diagnosed at the same time with the same type of breast cancer. That is where the similarities stop. While Elizabeth’s husband deserted and then embarrassed her with extramarital activities that resulted in a love-child, my husband quit work to stay home and care for me. This type of love and devotion is not unusual. I believe it is the same devotion Elizabeth would have displayed to any member of her family.
Two days before Elizabeth’s death, a close friend or mine was also laid to rest after succumbing to triple negative breast cancer. She too had lost a son and died in the home of her ex-husband from whom she had been divorced for years. Her needs became his focus. He cared for her in her last days and was her devoted friend to the bitter end. My point is: do not judge all men by Elizabeth’s ex-husband. There are wonderful, devoted mates, ex-husbands, and friends in this world. Unfortunately, Elizabeth Edwards did not marry one of them.
When someone is going through a life threatening illness, they must choose their battles. Elizabeth chose to concentrate on surviving and providing for her children in the face of her possible demise. She encouraged a positive relationship between her children and her ex-husband rather than driving a wedge between them. Their future was more important to her than her husband’s past. I don’t consider that the actions of a weak victim. I consider them the wise choices of a strong woman.
Elizabeth was a fighter who won the hearts of people as she bared her soul, and shared her insights as a single mother undergoing treatment during challenging times. And, she did it without publically whining or playing the blame game. I believe she realized that life was too short and precious to waste it on negative behavior—another sign of a winner.
Life is a bed of roses. Roses do have thorns. Elizabeth had her share of scratches.
I have always lived by the saying, “How someone treats me is their karma. How I respond is mine.” Despite insurmountable adversities that included the loss of a child, public humiliation, and TV interviews while battling a painful disease, Elizabeth Edwards always responded to personal questions like a lady.
Elizabeth Edwards please, take a bow. In my book, you are a winner.
Kathleen (Kat) O’Keefe-Kanavos is a TV/Radio Producer/Host of Wicked Housewives ON Cape Cod and Author/Lecturer of the International award winning and bestseller, Surviving Cancerland: Intuitive Aspects of Healing which promotes patient advocacy and connecting with inner guidance for success in health, wealth, and relationships. She is also a contributing author to Chicken Soup for the Soul: Dreams & Premonitions. Kat taught Special Education and Psychology. learn more @ www.AccessYourInnerGuide.com
